why i can't write porn

Emothy:
In ten years, when we're... in our thirties omg...
REMEMBER THAT TIME WE THOUGHT WE WERE ADULTS BUT WE WERE PLAYING WITH DRAGONS?


Zyn:
my 24 year old me was breeding dragons WHAT WERE YOU DOING WHEN YOU WERE MY AGE HUH HUH......cry
we'd talk about how sexy ryon is and then breed dragons


Emothy:
lmao


Zyn:
when i was in my 20s i wrote kinky fics for a children's show


Emothy:
Ryon is really sexy though


Zyn:
he really is ;;;
unforgiveably sexy


Emothy:
YEAH BUT DID YOU THOUGH, YOU WRITE FLUFF.
Disgustingly sexy


Zyn:
painfully sexy
NO I'M A LOSER I WROTE FLUFF BEC I GET CONFUSED WITH BODY PARTS
AND GENITALS


Emothy:
HOW CAN YOU GET CONFUSED ZYN, YOU HAVE BODY PARTS FOR REFERENCE.
RYOTA'S ELBOW.


Zyn:
THAT'S DIFFERENT YOU WONT GO
AND HE RUBBED HIS ELBOW AGAINST JOE'S NIPPLES
RIGHT?


Emothy:
LMAO
omg choking dying


Zyn:
THIS IS WHY I DONT WRITE PORN OK


Emothy:
PLEASE DO I'D LOVE IT SO DEARLY


Zyn:
STOP LAUGHING :|
NO
AND NATURALLY JOE WOULD BE LIKE WTF?
AND THAT'S A BONER KILLER


Emothy:
OH EVERYTHING IS A BONER KILLER FOR JOE, HE'S SUCH AN ICE QUEEN


Zyn:
LMAO
MARV IT'S 1 IN THE MORNING LET'S STOP
MARV THERE'S NEWS ON THE TV LET'S STOP
MARV I HAVE A TOOTHACHE LET'S STOP
MARV THE SKY IS BLUE LET'S STOP


Emothy:
JOE, ORGASMS ARE EFFECTIVE PAINKILLERS IT'S BEEN PROVEN.
lmao


Zyn:
what if he never had one :(

Emothy:
...
Zyn
Captain Marvelous is the Galaxy's Greatest Lover.
He doesn't sleep until he's given his partner at least three orgasms.
In an hour.

so uh guys, any tips on how to write anything higher than PG13? I can psuedo!smut but after the LET'S GET NAKED AND THRASH THESE SHEETS YOU DIRTY ANIMAL LOLOLOL ARRRGGHHHH part i can't anymore. everything fails. jysus weeps and everyone starts singing utau utau.